How to Get Unstuck and Start Building the Life You Actually Want

Let’s kick things off with a PSA for all the ladies out there who are adrift. If you’re feeling stuck in life, especially as a woman trying to build something meaningful: you’re not broken, not a failure, and not alone in this season. The truth is that this messy in-between space, the one that separates who you were from who you’re becoming? It can feel uncomfortable, lonely, and humiliating. But if used correctly, it can also afford you a deeply enriching period of self-discovery, one that you may have failed to recognise otherwise.

Let me explain.

A couple of years ago, I was going through my own period of creative limbo. I was working a remote job that ultimately left me uninspired, and when I wasn’t working, I was couch-rotting. As such, my days were a blur of K-dramas and household chores, with most of my evenings spent glued to my laptop, tapping away.

As for my nights? They stretched long and restless, punctuated by the abnormally loud sounds of neighbourhood pack dogs pattering on the tarmac road right outside our apartment building, and youth gangs smoking (and/or plotting) on the plot entrance that stood across from us.

Every once in a while, I had a panic attack too, but at the time, I didn’t know what that gasping feeling and tight chest meant. Then I would wake up the following day, rinse and repeat.

I felt stunted in all the ways that mattered: creatively, professionally, and spiritually. And while I was grateful to finally be making an income (a story for another day), I also wondered if this daily grind was all my life would amount to.  

Signs You’re Stuck in the Building Process (Especially as a Creative Woman)

Put a hand up if any of these sounds familiar:

• You live in quiet dread of Monday mornings or undergo silent mourning every Friday evening.
• You’ve been circling the same two or three business/project/venture ideas for a while now but can’t commit to one.
• You want to create – write, design, build – but every blank page feels like an insurmountable wall.
• You toggle between platforms (website, social media, podcasting), but nothing you produce feels “right.”
• You’re halfway through five digital courses but can’t finish a single one. Ditto on the self-help books.
• You crave clarity for your next move, but all you’re hearing is crickets.
• You’re not showing up how you’d like to online, not because you’re lazy, but because you’re unsure of and insecure about what to say.
• You look around and feel left behind, like everyone else has figured out their voice and professional identity except you.

These are not just random quirks. They’re the tell-tale signs of creative block and purpose anxiety. Fact is that symptoms of “stuckness” tend to show up in our lives long before we admit there is a problem. And if you’re someone who’s never quite comfortable with the status quo, that state of being can feel especially heavy.

How to Get Unstuck (Without Burning Everything Down) and Start Creating Again

Here’s the good news: stuckness isn’t a permanent affliction. The not-so-great news? You have to put in some work to get out of your limbo. It’s like when your car gets stuck in the mud. You don’t just leave it there and expect it to magically un-work itself. On the contrary, you fold your sleeves and bend down to pick out the rocks that are blocking your way, or alternatively, you look or call around for someone to come help you out of your quandary. Same basic idea.

Something that I’ve learnt from experience is that getting unstuck isn’t always about taking huge leaps of faith. More often than not, it’s down to the little steps forward… such as getting off the couch, putting on a pair of trainers, and going outside for a breath of fresh air.

With that in mind, here are 5 small but potent shifts to help you break through creative block.

1. Move your body – especially when your mind won’t budge.

I cannot emphasise enough the change that extraordinary physical exertion can have on a stunted mindset. Try the following and see which one moves the needle for you, even just a little bit.

• Go on a short walk around your neighbourhood or at a nearby park, at a relatively non-threatening hour such as early to mid-morning, or before sunset.
• Start working out at least three days a week. Your workout doesn’t have to be long (even 10 minutes a day is enough), but you do have to be consistent about it.
• Incorporate a stretching routine into your mornings or evenings. (YouTube has lots of great options.)

Most times, creative breakthrough comes when we do things that are out of the ordinary. Moving your body can help in this way because when you’re more focused on your physical exertion and less focused on your problems, you open up your mind to possibilities that probably wouldn’t have occurred to you before.

2. Document without judgment.

This is one of the simplest ways to quiet purpose anxiety: you prove to yourself that you are moving, even in small steps. Start a low-pressure journal. This could involve writing in an actual diary, recording yourself on audio or video, or keeping a digital journal using an app. Take notice of how you’re feeling and the ways in which you’re progressing, even if it means documenting one line a day.

3. Audit your inputs.

What would happen if you swapped doomscrolling for one nourishing essay a day?

I still remember when our gregarious primary school director would bemoan the perils of the “idiot box” (television) on our young minds, often warning us that “garbage in, garbage out” (GIGO). Of course, we weren’t as receptive to his words back then, but I now acknowledge that he was doling out some pretty universal wisdom.

In this same vein, start curating what goes into your eyes, ears, and ultimately, mind. Swap doom-scrolling, Netflix bingeing, and 20,000-word romance novels for a nourishing Substack, one excellent podcast, an essay that makes you think, or a book that’s more substance than snack.

If it feels hard, consistency is the name of the game. You don’t have to read the book or listen to the podcast episode all at once, but at least commit to several pages or minutes a day.

4. Do one tiny, tangible task for yourself.

Not just your creative self, but your overall self. It doesn’t have to be a big, scary thing. For example, the simple act of brushing your teeth and taking a shower as soon as you get up, you’d be surprised at what wonders these little acts of self-care can work. Then, move on to the bigger things: refresh your bio, go through your past creations, sketch out a simple business plan. These are tiny moves that will build momentum.

5. Pray.

On top of being a spiritual necessity, prayer is essential when you’re feeling lost and want to find clarity and purpose. Whether it’s as small as whispering “Help” or “Thank You,” it reconnects you to meaning and moves you from isolation to intention. It reminds you that this season you’re going through isn’t for nothing, and more importantly, that you’re not alone in fighting this battle.

Today’s Challenge

Say “yes” to just one movement.

“Yes” to going for a walk or working out.
“Yes” to documenting your day.
“Yes” to revisiting that draft.
“Yes” to taking your ideas seriously again.

Remember: feeling stuck in life isn’t forever. With the right steps, you can quiet purpose anxiety, break through creative block, and begin living with clarity and purpose again. As for what comes next? That’s where Now She Becomes steps in: to help you bridge the quiet of this in-between with the clarity of what you’re becoming.

Feature image credit: Tony Lewis MANZI